SCRUTINY OF A silent HEART (Dialogue)

STRANGER: “HELLO…?” “Anybody home….? Sorry for just walking in. I knocking, but I see the door…has been bro….. (*INTERRUPTION*)

ME: “Broken down, yes I know!” “Who are you and what do you want from me?” “What are you doing in here, who do you think you are just walking in here unannounced you don’t even know me, do you even know what I’ve been through?”

STRANGER: “We’ll I couldn’t help but notice….”

ME: “Notice what?” A worthless pathetic girl…crying herself to sleep every night until her eyes turns blood rain from all the pain, ‘till she can’t see anymore…..heartache that causes her ears to bleed everytime it beats…..”

STRANGER: “No…wait…wait…what I actually see is….” (*INTERRUPTION)

ME: “THERE IS NOTHING TO SEE…I think you better leave…..”

STRANGER: “Wait…..before I leave…"

ME: “JUST LEAVE….and never come back…..if you do…I might not be here…..”

STRANGER: “But how will you know if I was here or not?”

ME: “What are you talking about?”

STRANGER: “Well….your door…”

ME: “What door….? “There is no door anymore…”

STRANGER: “Exactly….I’ve been in here so many times, but couldn’t see you or hear you, until now…and…..” (INTERRUPTION)

ME: “WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME?”

STRANGER: “Well, all I wanted to know and do is if I could repair your door?”

WHY I WOULD I BE WORLD FAMOUS………

'Obviously because of my gifts, talents and abilities that God has given me. I would be the world’s most famous and favourite song writer, composer and musician. I will write songs that will make young girls cry and men fall in love with the way I play the guitar. Already famous singers and musicians will want to work with me for a lifetime after my 15 minutes of fame.

But more importantly than that, I would be famous just for being me, my character, personality and for actually utilising my gifts and talents to serve others and not allowing it to go to waste. I want to bless others with what I’ve been given, because keeping it, would be a selfish act from which I will not benefit. Sharing what God has given to you with others that need influence, shall be blesses and honored by God.

So in a nutshell, what I will be world famous for is, making use of what God has placed in my hands. So the world's most famous question is, what are doing with what God has placed in your hands?

MORGUE OF THE HEARTLESS

Not a shame of pity on that face, not a single tear. You rather laugh it off. Oh how I hate your smile, it makes me sick all over again.

As I lay down to rest in silence, this is where I’ll stay. You had your fun, didn’t you? So why you keep knocking on the door? You the one who placed my heart here, is it still called a heart? I don’t think so. It’s cold in here, this heart is frozen. As much as it longs for warmth, just a little, it rather remains silent, for its better off an ice block.

As it becomes numb, it slowly slips into a coma of frozen denial…..wait wait before you close the cold door….how long shall this frozen hear lie here…..?

Rock Journalism is people who can’t interview people who can’t talk for people who can’t read – Frank Zappa

Wait, let me get this straight, who the hell is Frank Zappa? I don’t even know this dude, I never heard of him before, till now, after reading the quote made by him, “Rock journalism is people who can’t interview people who can’t talk for people who can’t read”. Okay, so what’s up with that statement, in fact what’s up with Mr. Zappa?
If you ask me, I don’t have a clue. Since he’s a singer, writer and musician, I take he hates rock music. I have to admit, there was a time in my life I hated rock music with a passion, but now, I love it with all my soul. Rock music just does something to me I can’t even begin to explain it. One day I just decided to give myself to listen to rock, not heavy metal rock, but alternate rock, folk and electro and damn, I’m in love with rock now. It’s the only thing I find myself listening to nowadays, not that I hate other genres of music. It’s called a “paradigm shift”, maybe Frank should experience that shift.

Why criticize rock music, when apparently, according to research, Zappa wrote and sang rock during his career. Talk about “remember where you came from”. I think rock music is awesome, even without the lyrics. The music speaks a language of its own, profound melody and beats. The lyrics may be simple, but when the rock music accompanies it, it’s pure magic. NOW AIN’T THAT SOME HARD CORE JOURNALISM?!

DEATH SENTENCE

You’re breathing, but for how long? She’s bleeding, but how much blood still needs to be lost? Even though her heart aches and yearns for something that may never be, her heart is numb. Her eyes gets cold every time she looks at you, her tears are frozen, yet you still refuse to untie the chains of execution, that’s bounding her heart, her soul, spirit, her life.
Her ears bleed when you yell at her; she goes deaf to the vulgar words coming out of your mouth, blames, insults, abuse. Sounds of crying echoing with silent tear drops streaming down a cold face. Promises fed by lies, innocence pierced in her side, yet she tries to so hard to hide behind her smiling eyes.
She is tired, exhausted, drained by hurt, guilt and shame. Bitter sweet memories haunt her day and night. She feels as if she is fighting a losing battle. Where to now? Nowhere out, she feels alone, in isolation. She suddenly gives up, the word ‘hope’ lost its definition, I guess you won.She was your prisoner for too long, can’t you see she’s dying? Let her go, She’s slipping away to a better place……she’s gone……now she’s dead….ssshhhh….

WHAT MOTIVATES ME……

Music…..aah….what pure joy, my passion, my life.
Music, my music, my guitar, my songs, lyrics, cords, keys and melodies is what inspires me, motivates me. Waking up with music in my heart, or to the sound of music, causes my ears to bleed, making me feel alive. This is life, my life.
Whenever I’m low in spirit, music sets me free, makes me smile and I feel content, like I can face the world, I can face anything. Music allows me to feel free, like I can be myself in its melodious ambience. It’s like food to my soul.
Music is the air I breathe, it motivates me to get up in the morning and it puts me to bed soundly. When everything gets crazy around me, it’s the one thing that keeps my sanity, it’s my escape, my sweet escape.
Music is my passion, writing and composing songs is my inner joy and peace, it’s what I love doing and when I sing to my music, I smile, this is it, I can make it, make it through, because music sees me through it all. Music to me is described best in the lyrics of the song “Angels” by Robbie Williams, “through it all it offers me protection, a lot of love and affection, whether I’m right or wrong…….”
Music is all around us, all you have to do is listen……

CONFESSIONS OF A BRUTAL HEART

Standing on a silent hill, with a heart that’s full of fear, my eyes are closed, my brain is frozen, and my tongue is numb with words unspoken. Whispers of mass confusing filtering through my veins, I can barely feel my heart’s beating or wait have I just start breathing? Listening closely to what seems to be, rather reflecting on a brutal heart that bleeds within.
These aching hands can’t seem to reach out for a second chance; I gave it once before and look what it left me with, an aching chest. I do believe what I believe now, I’m better off without this heart, it’s killing me, just take it out.
You’ve got me in a corner now, I feel so helpless. I falling to my knees now, I’m slowly losing my breath, take me away and do your worst.
Now you ripped my heart out with your bare hands and threw it on the cold ground, you let me bleed to death and then you walked away, without looking back, I lie helplessly and watch you fade away.
You drown me now, you took my breath away, you drown me now and then you ran away.

Personal autonomy – how far does it extend

I believe, I was born and placed on earth for a design purpose, born and created in God’s image. I also believe I was conceived in the mind of God before I was conceived in the mind of my parents.
I am here, where I am at this very moment, specific day, time and place for a purpose. I wouldn’t be the person I am today if it weren’t for the manner in which my parents raised me, a strong, mature, dependent, ambitious young woman serving her purpose on earth through my gifts, abilities and talents that God has given me and blessing others at the same time.
Personal autonomy is made up of more than what we perceive it to be. Our make-up is not home-made, but God-made. He knew our make-up before we were born; He created us and designed our make-up for a significant purpose.
My personal autonomy is God-made, so I leave it in my Master’s hands, whatever He says goes. As I allow him to shape my character everyday…….my personal autonomy shall extend till my time is up on earth.

BEAUTIFAUL AWAKENING

As I lay in bed another morning, an early morning, my eyes are closed yet wide awake. I begin to feel the sun rays seep through the tiny openings of the blinds, starting to softly touch my eyelids, forcing me to open my eyes. I quickly turn the other way and hide my cold face.
I stare at a blank wall that just stares back at me. What am I looking at, what do I really see? Just a wall? Or something beyond the wall? Order of the day, plans, goals, fears? Need to turn around, this wall somehow doesn’t seem to be blank any more. It’s trying to consume me with way too much information, in fact too much for the day, I just woke up.
As I begin to close my eyes again, I feel warmth coming upon me, causing me to throw off my covers of heavy laden. I rise up, stretch, open my window and pull up the blinds. I see You smiling at me, I smile back ….GOOD MORNING TO YOU TOO, SUNSHINE…..

Bunch of Animals - "Where the Cops at?"

I wouldn’t use the word ‘protesting’ when it came to the CPUT student rage. This was done out of anger, so the word that is currently used, is ‘strike”. Those students were rather way out of control, trying to destroy the campus with other people that are not even CPUT students.
The manner in which they striked, was totally uncalled for, they were full of rage. Being a student myself, one can only imagine where they coming from. With all this, one can only begin to have a paradigm shift. Students have needs and it differs from one another, but that doesn’t mean you have to perform like a wild animal on a leash, trying to break free, kill and eat the closest prey.
Placing bombs outside the commerce buildings, what’s up with that? Terror attacks in the Mother City as well? CPUT management needs to wake up and smell Jacobs if they want to be a step ahead. Innocent students’ lives were at stake due to the animal behavior of these protestors that were simply out of control.
This is what happens if management don’t listen to students needs from day one, so management what do you plan to do?

10 MOST UNEXPECTED CONSEQUENCES OF BEING ONLINE

We’ll let’s think, this is going to be fun I think. Okay here goes:
1. Addiction
2. Always searching for something we sometimes not sure of.
3. We rely on Google so much, we forget libraries exist.
4. And who could forget VIRUSES!!!
5. Getting disconnected (especially on mxit)
6. Having internet explorer just stops responding when you’re online, for no reason, leaving you to reboot.
7. Those irritating pop up ads.
8. We find ourselves emailing friends more than face to face communication.
9. Everyone wants to be everyone’s friend on Facebook even if they don’t know you or like you, just to know your business that’s none of their business.
10. We find ourselves saying, “I can’t imagine my life without technology”. What shit is that? You managed quite fine years ago.

Wait, wait, I got another one.

11. Getting hacked.

How do you step off a 100 feet pole?

Upon looking the tiny over view of the city, you begin to ask yourself if anyone can see you up there, since you hanging on to dear life from that 100 feet pole. You begin to pray for help, for you cannot hold on any more.
Your hands begin to sweat as you slipping a few inches down, you cannot look down anymore, so you decide to look to the sky, as if you awaiting some miracle to occur, of course you hoping for a miracle. Maybe you’re hoping for a helicopter with ropes to rescue from your aching misery.
Now you’re screaming and crying out loud, yet no one seems to hear you, you then begin to panic and believe that this is it, you believe you going to fall and die.
You begin to close your eyes and pray, for something to happen, but you still hoping and preparing for the worse. You open your eyes, you find yourself lying on the ground in a sweat. “Hey, are you okay?”, a soft voice asks you. You look up slowly in confusion, asking how you got down. A loud voice from the back shouts, “THE SAME WAY YOU GOT UP!”

Feelings follow Behaviour

There is a law that states, “For every action there is a reaction”. We usually act on what we think or feel, whether we realise it or not, we just human, are we not? We all have feelings, which naturally affect the way we behave.
For example, if you’re in love (feeling), you’ll act (behave) like someone who’s in love, everything changes around you. You feel happy whole day, you wake up smiling, when that person walks your way, you get butterflies, you feel silly, you act silly, and later realise you actually love that feeling.
Our feelings are what mould us into the person that we are. Our feelings may either guide us or lead us astray. We either act on our feelings or act against it. We either rely on our gut feeling or trust our instinct that causes us to behave a certain way. Feelings come from inside and gets expressed outwardly through behavior, in other words or behavior expresses the way we feel.Behaviour is the reaction caused by feelings which is the action that takes place within us. The manner in which we behave is caused by the way we feel, it’s an expression, our feelings follow our behavior.

Our Greatest Strengths are our greatest Weaknesses

God created each one of us uniquely according to His divine purpose for our lives on this earth. I believe God has given us gifts and talents to express ourselves differently, yet we all not perfect, we have weaknesses as well.
Sometimes we misuse our strengths that cause our weaknesses to outweigh our strengths. I believe that our strengths can lead to our downfall in a situation if it’s not handled correctly, resulting in our weaknesses to come out.
Sometimes we think we stronger than the next person, emotionally, physically, mentally or financially stronger, yet we don’t even know our own weaknesses till we get conquered by the next person, unintentionally, but rather unexpectedly, causing us to feel weak. We need to admit to ourselves everyday that we’re not perfect, but rather unique. We need to acknowledge that each of us have weaknesses, but not forgetting our strengths. We need to learn to use our strengths wisely and without trying to break the next person and accept failure due to our weaknesses. If we allow our strengths to get the best of us without using it wisely, it can become our greatest weaknesses

EVERYDAY IS A GOOD DAY

Can one’s day really go that bad? When your alarm doesn’t go off in the morning, when you spill coffee on you, when you missed your train, when u arrive late for work or class. Can all these things really make you feel you going to have a bad day even though the day is not through, I think not.

Having a positive attitude regardless of the negative things that’s happening around us always does the trick. We shouldn’t allow petty things affect us; we are more than over comers. I believe for every bad thing that happens to us, something good will come from it.

I also believe that everything happens for a reason, everyday no matter how big or small it is, if something bad happens to us, something good will happen to us later in the day no matter what time of the day it is. Sometimes we may not realise this, but if you think back really hard, I’m sure there’s always a highlight to your day. Sometimes the bad things that happens to us, the waking up late in the morning, missing your train happens for a reason, it may seem bad luck, but these little things sometimes saves you from the bad that can happen to you.

Let’s embrace and live each day, as each if it’s our last and always exert a positive energy regardless of the bad things that happens to us, because every day is a good day!

IT's Better to Practice a Little than Talk alot

I’m sure we all heard the sayings, “talk is cheap” and “put your money where your mouth is”. Some things are better left unsaid, if you not going to practice what you preach. As much as we don’t notice, people respond more positively towards what we do rather than say.
Why are we always so quick to say things, rather than do it? We waste too much time telling ourselves and other people what we want to do and going to do, but nothing gets done. There may be many reasons for this. It may be that we don’t have time, or we bound by unforeseen circumstances or we find ourselves trying to impress other people so that we may appear “witty” and ambitious. Some people hold your word against you if you say something but do nothing. We will be respected more once we actually do what we say. Everyone can say what they want or plan to do, but not everyone can actually execute it. Some of us want to do too much that we can’t do anything.
I choose rather to say nothing and as NIKE say it best, “Just Do It!

IT's A POOR IDEA TO LIE TO YOURSELF

Are we really that insecure, that we lie to ourselves? Why do we keep doing that? I’ll tell you why, because we keep comparing ourselves with the next person, even competing against them. We always try to impress people we don’t like. I always say if you fool yourself you fool the world.
We lie everyday to ourselves, whether we realise it or not. I honestly don’t believe in “white lies”. A lie is a lie. Some of us lie too much, so much it became a bad habit that formed part of our lifestyle. Some of us became so good at lying that we don’t feel guilty anymore. This is the danger however, because once, you are bound to lie the second time, leading you to lying all the time. Every time we lie to someone, we actually lie to ourselves. Most of us lie to protect ourselves from the unknown truth. Lying becomes a routine for some, causing us not to think before lying.
By lying all the time, we wake up in the morning a lie. We lose ourselves, we forget who we are, and we base our lives on lies. Our own lies control us; it controls the way we think and act.
Now let us all join hands and sing along to the lyrics of TLC: “Dear lie, you suck, you think you’ve got the best of me. You sick, you’re dumb, and you think you can fix anything. I’ve got your balls, won’t let you unnerve me, won’t let u control me, the truth will only free me and your lies won’t hurt no more. Get out of my mouth, get out of my head, get out of my life, and stop putting words in my head, you’re nothing but trouble. JUST GET OUT OF ME!”

DESIGNER PR

PR? Stop before you continue to drive in that direction. PR has made a U-turn. PR has become independent over the years; its functions have broadened to a great degree. It’s moved away from commerce and into design. PR is still underestimated, especially in the business world, but the table is about to turn I bet my fame on it. We the PR practitioners don’t need those marketing people to tell us what and how to do things; we can do it all our selves. We have the necessary required skills that are being sharpened everyday. PR is a designer now. PR practitioners are even more creative and skilful now, because we eager to learn new things everyday. We can design and we can create opportunities for ourselves with our innovative ideas. PR is exciting; we tend to intimate the rest of those who say they don’t need us, when we know you need us. We design what you think, we bring to life what you desire. We are intrigued by the world around us; we use every opportunity as an advantage to excel in PR and to reach the epitome of our career. Designer PR…Okay now you may proceed, that’s where we headed.

WE ARE WHAT WE DO

I am me and you are you and we are what we do. No, I’m not reciting a poem, can’t help it if it’s in me to rhyme now and then. Well, that’s because that’s just me, I’m unique just like everyone else. I believe that everyone on this earth was purposely designed. Everyone is different and does different things, no matter how the same it may seem. We may breathe the same air and bleed the same red blood, but yet we are all different. We all have different goals and dreams that we dare wish to fulfill, we all are talented and gifted even though some of us are still not sure what they are. I still believe there is a difference between one’s career and one’s passion. A career may put food on your table but your passion may fill the void in your soul, your life. Everyone has a passion that’s planted in their souls; we just need the right spark. What makes you happy? Do you know who you are? Have you found out what you love doing? If you have, then you are what you do.

WHAT IS THE COLOUR OF THE WIND

I struggled to fall asleep last night, the wind kept me up. It was so strong and angry, somewhat evil; you could swear the colour of the wind was black. Suddenly I began to fall in a deep slumber, I found myself standing in a forest. Tall trees surrounding me, autumn leaves slowly falling to the ground, caused by a slight wind, the wind was orange. I saw you standing from a distance, smiling so beautifully at me, looking up I saw the heavens open, sending a cool breeze of love down to where we were standing, the wind was red. You walked up to me, real closely, kissed my lips, so innocently, your breath was like the wind, it was white. She walked pass us, looked at us with pure envy in her dark eyes, she walked on. As she turned around the wind blew her hair across her face, the wind was green. Suddenly I woke up feeling happy, walked towards the open window, which I forgot to close last night. I carefully tilted my face outside the window and felt the wind against my face and smiled, I wonder what colour the wind is today?

WE ARE AFRAID OF THE WRONG THINGS

Be afraid….be very afraid…of what exactly? That’s my point, you keep telling me that, piss off and go scare, I mean go and try and scare someone else. I don’t have time to listen to your fears, I got a lot of challenges I need to conquer up ahead and yes I’m excited. I’m tired of people telling me to be careful for the most stupid things, just because they afraid of it. Don’t they have other things to be afraid of, like me hitting them in their mouth if they utter another word? I’ll give you an example, since you want one. Three years ago I dated some idiot that everyone warned me not to date. Yes, I also wondered why. Apparently I was supposed to be afraid, afraid of who, him? Afraid of what, to get my heart broken? We’ll yes, I got my heart broken but I wasn’t afraid to get it broken. Why should anyone be afraid to get their heart broken, well at least the first time round? We should stop living our lives in fear, because the things you fear the most shall come upon you. Yes I said it, someone has to say it. If you afraid, breathe it in and go into it and you’ll come out alive, well maybe. Let us not regret the things we did because of a fear of possible repetition, embrace each fear. Now go out there and do something every day that scares you.

NOT ALL WHO WONDER ARE LOST

There he goes, there she goes, I wonder where they headed. He looks happy, she looks, wait, I’m not too sure. She looks like she’s pretending to be okay, but the little tear drops that suddenly begins to form in her sad eyes is giving her game away, she seems lost. I’m standing on the bridge, watching them go there separate ways……Which way do I go now…?

Before I start to decide which way to go, I begin to ask myself, why I’m standing on this bridge, why does it feel as if I’m waiting on something or someone. The rain starts to pour, I’m somehow not bothered by this, I still continue to stand and wait…waiting on what?

Now it’s getting dark, I’m getting cold; I slowly turn around just to find no one around me, I begin to move forward. I’m looking left and right as if I’m waiting on a sign from the unknown. I close my eyes and begin to pray, “Which way do I go God?” I open my eyes and without thinking, I proceed left. I suddenly begin to walk quickly, I feel afraid, it’s dark, and I’m alone. This road seems long. Maybe I should’ve turned right, no no, no, I will not turn around now.

Suddenly I see a little light shinning brightly from a distance, I begin to run.
As I approach the light, I see a young man walking toward me with his hand out, as if he’s my saviour for the night. I halt and looked up to him and asked him who he was, he replied, “that’s not important right now, do not fear, not all who wonder are lost….”

Call Report 3

CALL REPORT:

Date of Meeting: 23 March 2009
Name of Team Leader: Lizelle Sampson
Team Topic: Multimedia

Attendance Record
Name of MS2 Students
Present / Apologies / Absent
1 Luvuyo Jongile
Present
2 Thsepiso Moloi
Present

New tasks assigned
NEW Tasks: (Details)
Student Name
Deadline
2nd Budget line and first draft of first budget line
Luvuyo Jongile
23 March 2009
1st and 2nd budget line
Thsepiso Moloi
23 March 2009

Current Tasks: (Progress to date)
Will meet deadline / Deadline will be adjusted.
Name of current task
Discussing and evaluating 1st draft of story and 2nd budget line
27 March
(11h00)
Name of current task
Still to be discussed
27 March 2009

Problems & Solutions:
I’m still battling with Thsepiso. I spoke with her twice regarding her problem, I gave her ideas for possible stories, but she still hasn’t produced any work.
General comments:
Luvuyo is working well and communicating with me on a regular basis. I’m so far impressed with his work, he is never a problem. I’m proud to work with him.

SA BANDS SUCKS?

Mmmm...Is that a trick question? Perhaps not, but on the contrary it could be scrutinized both ways. Being a South African and being exposed to the different genres of music, one seemed to have gotten so used to what is perceived as South African music. It’s African, Kwaito, House and not to forget Cape Town’s all time favourite, Jazz. Hip Hop and R&B is mainly influenced by the US market. As much as there are really some good South African bands, question remains, why is there so many struggling artist or bands? Struggling to make it, especially in Cape Town, that is perceived to having South Africa’s most talented singers and musicians. Cape Town is a typical example of having the most struggling bands. Looking at the US and UK music market, the bands there just seem to be excelling. South Africa on the other hand has some good bands, but there are so many of us that are not familiar with them, and some of us choose not to familiarise ourselves at all with South African music and bands. This is the core problem, we as South Africans don’t support our local bands, why is that? This occurs, because we are so wrapped up in international music, especially American music. South Africa lacks support and motivation from its own people, this is sad. Some SA bands again don’t have ambition and goals, the don’t dream big, they just think locally, they don’t imagine themselves tapping into the international market, there are many reasons for this as well, they either want to keep their music locally, or they feel inferior to the international market, some SA bands just feel they aren’t good enough. Another problem some SA bands has is, they refuse to expose themselves to different genres of music, example Cape Town is know best for Jazz, so most SA bands do jazz. Some SA bands are into R&B. How many rock bands are there in South Africa? Some people may be pulling their faces now, because you’d rather die than listen to rock music. Sa Rock Band…, why not? Today, rock is one the best selling music on the planet. The US and the UK were generally felt to be world leaders when it came to rock music, followed closely by Germany, Japan and a number of other European countries. There were also very positive signs that the South American countries were stirring in a big way too. Freshly Ground is one of South Africa’s, Cape Town most unique and talented bands and their music sold so quickly they even won an award at the Grammy’s. If only we all could support our local bands, then maybe they can all wake up and smell the Grammy’s, so that everyone can see that they don’t actually suck.